The Apple v. Microsoft Debate

I am probably about to alienate myself from friends and family everywhere. And please, do not get me wrong, this review is not my endorsement of either Apple or Microsoft but instead is a review on the ongoing debate between fanatics on either side of the fence.

It seems in the computer world (read: the intarwebs [for those who have been absent from the internet until now that is the slang for the place you go to pull up the email account you don't know how to use other than to send me annoying fwds]) these days, there is almost nothing more polarizing than the debate about which is the superior product: Apple or Microsoft. This debate ranks right up there with politics and religion. Neither side ever makes any headway against the other, but instead just fancies up their way of arguing.

Now, just like with politics and religion, I grew up in a split household. Literally. My Mum and Dad were divorced and at my Dad's, I always had a Mac, and at Mum's I always had a PC. Dad is what I am going to term as a "Mac Wanker". Also known as a "Apple Fanboi" or "Pompous Ass," the Apple Fanatics of the world refuse to admit fault with "superior product" even when shows hard evidence as to its shortcomings. But more on that later. Dad was the system admin of several college Graphic Arts computer labs starting the days when their was a such thing as Graphic Arts computer labs.

Mum, on the other hand was basically computer illiterate, but due to my Uncle wanting her to advance herself technologically, always had one that I could appropriate for my use. Then in high school and later college I discovered the miracle that was PC gaming and found friends that shared this passion (read: obsession). These friends, while seeming good-natured, could be termed, "Microsoft Lemmings". Also can be correctly identified as "Obsessive Porn Viewers," "Trash-talking, non-deodorant wearing, over-caffeinated, adolescents," "Antisocial Pencil-necked Geeks" or, in short, "Virgins". 

Now, in my experience, contrary to what it seems the Apple commercials would like you believe, there are no dividing lines between these two armies in regards to age, gender, job type or any other discernible demographic. It seems to come down to sheer preference. Also, not everyone falls into one of these two camps. There are also a lot of people out there that fall into the "I couldn't give a shit so please stop subjecting me to your narrow-minded-computer-manufacturer recruitment speeches" camp. I fall into this camp.

I have experience with a lot of different computers from a lot of different hardware manufacturers. I have a decently top of the line G5 at work, until recently had a custom Athlon 64 machine at home, and also am in a household  which owns an Apple Powerbook, both an HP and Dell desktop and my significant other has an Alienware laptop. A little secret to you all no matter which side of the fence you are on: THEY ALL CRASH! And usually at the most inopportune moment ever. The G5 crashes three or four times a week. The Athlon system's motherboard went out, the Powerbook has been in and out for service and as for the Alienware, I am pretty sure that my S.O. would like to set it on fire just to watch it burn. So to all the Apple fanatics out there, your argument that at least Apple doesn't have a "Blue screen of death" holds no water for me.

Also to the Apple side I have heard it said that Apple is the superior hardware manufacturer and that their "easy to use" OS is just a vector on which to use their hardware. If that is the case, why then are they now using Intel processors? And the OS is really easy to use, if you know what you are doing. Guess what. Windows is pretty easy to use if you know what you are doing.

But now don't think that PC users are going to get off easily here. I hear all the time that gaming is SO much better and easier on a PC due to selection, better graphics etc. etc. etc. Well Apples can be installed with Windows, and most new Motherboard configurations can support whatever whacked out video card combo you want to put in there. And from what I have been reading recently about the new Apple-Intel computers, they run Windows and Windows based programs with less problems than PCs. But that throws out the "Apples don't have viruses argument."

I guess one of the main arguments against PCs would be that I don't think I have ever heard of a "Hardware conflict error" when it comes to Apple. But that only stems from the fact that with Apple products, you don't have a lot of choice when it comes to hardware. You have what Apple makes and maybe a one or two third party options. Oh and then there is the whole price tag thing. Apples tend to seem A LOT more expensive until you start to customize a PC and then they sort of get into the same price range. But you don't really get to customize an Apple much and that bugs some people.

But it boils down to. Neither one is a "superior" product. They both have shortcomings. They both have advantages. And please don't bombard me with literature of how I am wrong about something or other or how I am misguided about some other thing. Can't we all just agree to disagree? You  know, like the Israelis and the Palestinians?

Rating Criteria (Keep in mind, I am reviewing the debate here)

What its meant for: To give me a headache, to give people with too much time something to argue about on online forums, to give Justin Long something to fall back on if his acting career falls through.

Achievement of Said Goals: 10/10

It gives me a headache. I bet you are hard pressed to find a single internet forum where this debate hasn't come up at least once and Justin Long totally got his start in those damn annoying and pompous commercials. Those commercials are SUCH false advertising by the way.

Learning Curve: 0/10

It is IMPOSSIBLE to learn how to stay away from some idiot that is trying to convince me one product is better than the other. For me, it is like trying to walk into an abortion clinic in the heart of the Bible Belt in a fundamentalist Christian-Republican's hometown during an election year.

Enjoyability: 3/10

There is nothing enjoyable about this debate... unless we somehow can make robots out of both PCs and Apples and have them attack each other like on that old TV show Robot Wars. That would be fun.

Overall: Better to have this debate than not to have computers and intrawebs and video games. With the whole competition thing, products get advanced and every few months we get neat gadgets and upgrades on which to blow our paychecks. But I would rather have to sit through having my wisdom teeth removed by the Dentist from Little Shop of Horrors than to have to hear why one products is better than another ever again.